the depository

Attention Humans. Blog moving.

2011-12-18T11:01:00.000-08:00

Hello. After noticing that blogger seems to be slightly silent of electronic chatter, I will be moving my blog over to Tumblr.

Where I will continue to document artist process and document studio time and other random acts of discover and knowledge.

Starting in the new year I will be attempting a piece a day sort of deal. so if there is any listeners on the other end of this transmission, please follow over to Tumblr.

I appreciate all who continue to read and support my work.

here is link to my Tumblr site.

Thanks.

end transmission.

2011-12-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

While working on

building frames this week end, and also while getting a splinter stuck in my eye, swelling it almost shut, I came up with a decent idea.

I have a buch of sketches and studies of figures I was to use on this new series of painting works.

They are not bad enough to stand alone them selves, but coming up with framing ideas for them, I was at a loss.

Of course, I did not want to just put them in a regular frame, as I would hope it is known by now, but I just really can not stand the standard average framing choices for my work. To m

e it just does not fit.

So after seeing some pieces lay on the studio floor of wood that would probably not be used for anything, I relized they were about the same size of th

ese drawings.

Placing one drawing on the wood, and presto, instant frame, with a unique look to it.

What makes this a double bonus, is after looking at the gallery space for the show in january , I realized that I would need to have some smaller work to make affordable as well as fill up wall space... the gallery space just does not seem large enough for all these pieces I have been working on.

End Transmission.

-m

the beginning of misplacing things.

2011-12-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

For the past Four months or so I have been working on my newest series of work. Originally I had planned a series I had been wanting to produce, called 'War'. However my intentions for these pieces were rather large scale and the gallery space I have is slightly limited. After trying to paint one piece on the smaller side, I had to quickly paint over it.

Then began what I discovered an abstracted image that resembled a structure, or a temple, or what have you. . . These abstracts consumed me for some time, while reading various philosophy books, online sites and random quotes from searches. ( I prefer not name drop anything that I reference in my work. I prefer to find information staggered and mix it together, not bothering with names, I try rather hard to ignore who the writing is from. I like things more to be knowledge that has accumulated and my observation and my own take on the matter is the end result). As the months drew on and I became more focused on world happenings, things it seems that I have been bitching about for years are finally blowing up into the headlines. This began to influence some of the later works in this series.

This series, by the way, which I have titled, " Misplaced Faith in Gravity", a comment on our mass stupidity as a society, a comment on how once we learn something, that it becomes the over all absolute of the universe. In my opinion, nothing is absolute and there is no way we can possibly, really know anything. Not for sure anyway. Possibilities always exist. While doing this work, even, they have found a possibility that Einstein's Theory of the Speed of Light could be wrong, finding neutrinos speeding faster than light. . .

If they claim this has been a misunderstanding, I will only further believe humans can not stand to learn change, or the idea that they are wrong.

Anyway.

During this Time of working on this series, finding ways to frame and mount the work itself has been consuming and has kept my mind racing many nights. I did not want it to be the same as my last series of work and I did not want it to just be traditional.... and certainly not lame.

I have been searching for mediums, elements and material that I can use.

I actually found inspiration at the store Anthroplogie, of all places... I once worked there as their visual display artist, creating their seasonal displays with found or unusual things and what not... when in the store again, I saw a few displays that really were unique and individual... it is funny when ideas can come to you at the most random times. However, I think it was not all that strange that it was there... it merely reminded me of how to think further for structural ideas.

And there we go.

Ive steered away from found wood (Not all completely) this time around, as it can be too warped and bent to stretch the piece properly. Found wood works well I've found adding character and a slight design element that works really well.

I have started using only three bars to stretch three sides. leaving the bottom part of the canvas to be stretched in a different way. or adding elements onto of the piece to add to the design.

I began using pieces of canvas that were scrapped from trimming these pieces and older pieces into the structure and design work of the last piece, which has turned out decent.

11.28.2011

2011-11-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

New series of work has so far turned out quite well. I've decided on the pieces that will be apart of the exhibition this january for my solo show, some pieces have been excluded.

I won't be posting any images until the unveiling of the series in january. this has been super difficult, with not getting any feedback, it makes one slightly paranoid as to the results.... the paintings have gone into a slightly new direction. the series is conversation of philosophy and relation of society.

Mental gateways had become a focus for a few months, resulting in abstract images sort of resembling floating temples and structures. perhaps like ancient ships hovering above the landscapes that man worshiped at or sought after to find some mental clarity.

my representation of man and society in this series plays of philosophical ideals of the ego of self and its relation to another. conflicts of what we call religion. etc. i decided not to include any of the elements of gods or aliens or what ever you really want to call them. the work is meant to deal with humans and our trials of learning what life is.

the best part of this series so far has been the finishing touches of the framing.

on the last series of work and several others i decided not to stretch my canvas in the traditional means as I've just become so tire of seeing perfectly stretched paintings in squares, rectangles or whatever else is out there. So I got a bunch of reclaimed wood and created a frame where the canvas could simply just be tacked on. this created a great presentation of the series itself and adds a unique feel to each piece, as each frame was built with the intention of continuing the paintings design aspects out into the frame.

with this new series, i wanted to go back to stretching the canvas, but again not n a traditional sense. adding elements to add to the design and structure to the work has been a challenge but adds so much more to the piece itself, making the frame and stretchers apart of the work itself.

I've got some new ideas for the last few to be done that should prove really interesting with cheese cloth and raw canvas pieces. should be fun.

In the images above you can hopefully make out what i am talking about witht he framing for last series.... need better photos of those.

well.

back.

to.

work.

-m

octiober and what not.

2011-10-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

again, a lengthy pause between posts.

have been working a lot on several new series.

biggest one being work for my solo show at Black Bird Studios in January 2012. no prieviews for this one, other than some sneak peak close ups of progress shots that can be seen on my mailing lists.

i have released several new works this month.

my on going abstract portrait series has been growing in its collection, as well as a new set of small paintings on canvas.

some new work for the 'exile from the shore of reason' series. two of which will not be debuted electronically until november.

other things and other stuff.

some photos.

2011-09-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

wow, a month since my last post. sheesh.

i all but forgot about blogger. well, no, but. meh.

for those listening to this broadcast,

i will have a table @ an event this saturday at the Platinum hotel. prints will be available along with some watercolor originals, etc. etc. event is called, (F.A.M. - fashion , art , music. ) by Jimi CTO.

well see how that goes.

next month (october) at 222 Imperial Gallery Las Vegas, I will have a new piece in their ' 10,000 Skeletons ' group show. that will be pretty neat. the piece came out really good.

i think i missed and failed to mention to the blog universe that i was involved with their (222 imperial ) 'geek' group show, with a portrait piece of tricia helfer as caprice 6 in battlestar galactica.

hmmm...

what else.

ah.

group show in december at Blackbird Studios, for their 'pee wee herman group show. ' and also in december i will have a collaboration piece with las vegas' 3 Bad Sheep' for their collaboration show at Alexander P. Huerta;s studio ' Peace N Art' inside the arts factory.

and then in january will be my solo show of all new work at Black Bird Studios.

phew.

yes, I've been busy.

Paranoid Backstrokes

2011-08-18T14:40:00.001-07:00

2011-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

promotional poster

2011-07-27T14:06:00.001-07:00

2011-07-27T13:36:00.000-07:00

getting ready for my show tomorrow with RAW:natural born artists @ tommy rockers lounge here in vegas.

lots of stuff to prep and other odd jobs I'm in need of finishing.... and a painting in progress....

2011-07-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

This is NEXT WEEK! be sure if your in the vegas area to pick up some tickets and check it out.new paintings will be showing live at this group art showcase JULY 28 along with many other great artists, musicians and more. Pick up your tickets early! If your not in the vegas area or wont be here, you can always show support and purchase a ticket to help RAW keep going.

More information and Tickets

'small bits of the universe making sense at random moments in time.'

2011-07-22T09:29:00.000-07:00

there is something about this one. once it draws your eye in and grabs your subconscious you become lost in its lines. photo online here is nothing. the size of the piece alone drags you in...

latest work and progress shots

2011-07-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

have been absent from this site for a while. ... so many social sites to update, there needs to be one app that posts to all.

but, cest le vie, here are some progress shots of works in progress and finished pieces format he past week.

The first few images of the current piece i am working on have been very trying as far as coming along. this is the first piece that has proved elusive to me. the thought is there then it would fade. one background turned into a new one. there are layers of paint and images painted over. as it is evolving it is now a ziggurat. a gateway of the gods. a place where the gods could go to and from the heavens. a space port.

new work, progress shots

2011-07-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

giving the sermon at high noon - signed print

2011-07-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

'watchers' signed prints available direct from artist.

2011-07-06T10:13:00.001-07:00

challenge of nimrod ( loss of tounge )

2011-07-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

challenge of nimrod ( loss of tounge ) ‘ - house paint, acrylic, pen and oil stick on mounted canvas - 18 “ x 24 “ - 2011 - available

discount code for fine art prints

2011-07-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

now through 07 - 05 - 11

use discount code ASZTLT to receive 25% off art prints and canvas art prints.

‘ challenge of nimrod ( tyranny of power, for man kind salute )

2011-07-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

‘ challenge of nimrod ( tyranny of power, for man kind salute ) - house paint, acrylic, pen and oil stick on canvas - 18” x 20” - available

challenge of nimrod ( semiazaz )

2011-07-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

challenge of nimrod ( semiazaz ) - house paint, acrylic, oil stick, pen on mounted canvas. - 15 “ x 30 “ - 2011 - available

‘ the heat radiates finding a new home in the desert of the universe ’

2011-07-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

‘ the heat radiates finding a new home in the desert of the universe ’ - acrylic, oil stick, pen on un mounted canvas - 31.25 “ x 48 “ - 2011 - available

2011-07-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

new piece.

'challenge of nimrod.'

mixed media on stretched canvas

2011-06-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

ok a new piece in progress.

and

some

sketches.

2011-06-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

hello.

some news.

new work will be on display in a group showcase at the arts factory here in las vegas with an event that is pretty awesome.

featring a fashion show, dj, film showing, performance art and visual art.

RAW: natural born artists is putting on this event, based in LA, they have begun to venture to cities across the nation to bring this event to everyone.

im excited to be apart of this event and if you are in the las vegas area, you should come check it out.

tickets to the show can be purchased here;

http://www.rawartists.org/lasvegas/illuminare/?artistid=17162

details about RAW can be watched here.

hope to see some of you there.

2011-06-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

every one should head over here and "like" my "artist" page. think there can be more numbers not just 19. :)

2011-06-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

ok.

officially summer i suppose.

the helical rising of sirius has taken place. and we can all breathe anew.

working on a new piece with a ziggurat and things, was meant to be finished on the summer solstice for the rising of sirius... you know just to be sly like that, but its been so hot i don't really get much time in the studio. more accurately. i am in the studio. it is just so hot i end up just sitting there with a stupid blank stare.

true story.

so if whomever hasn't, go to my face book artist page there and "like" me. it would be greatly appreciated.

some updates to the website. new images uploaded, stuff of that sort.

working on a pretty bad hang over this morning.

boo.

2011-06-22T07:11:00.001-07:00

free art.

http://www.mellonfineart.com/free_art.html

2011-06-21T19:56:00.001-07:00

meow

the tribunal of gods and men, the vote against you

2011-06-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

monuments held to determine who we are, mans place in the universe. Or, the disbelief in gravity

2011-06-19T10:36:00.001-07:00

2011-06-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

ok. so ive been slightly busy.

2011-06-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

featured artist over here on this site. they are offering prints, canvas and fine art paper.

check it out.

artist spot.

2011-06-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

trying so hard to muster up some motivation to work before it gets hot....

2011-06-13T14:23:00.001-07:00

i am the featured artist this week at this site, here. check it out to read the interview and stuff.

2011-06-12T16:45:00.001-07:00

ok been a bit consumed by painting lately.

new studio working out quite well... don't even notice its over 90 degrees in there....some things finished and in progress/\.

2011-06-10T15:38:00.001-07:00

its been said we are the bastard children of the universe. the universe sent the gods to destroy its bastard son, but the gods gave pity. begging the universe for mankinds survival, the gods won the debate with the universe allowing its ugly child to survive. the gods had only one condition. the gods warned mankind that we must learn and move forth past our primitive ways of hatred and war. to observe. to be the eyes and ears of the universe so that she can see herself in a new perspective.

2011-06-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

moving is really just obnoxious.

so much crap we collect a long the way.

i usually tend to just dump it. sentimental or not. but theres still the crap you need.

oh well.

the process will be over soon.

and at least vie been able to continue to work while the move goes on. even if i have not had the time to maintain the online presence.

here are some progress pictures of work.

and of course the paparazzi got in take a shot ...

2011-06-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

moving in officially into new house.

very good. very good.

finally will be able to get back to relaxing and stuff of that nature. trying to maintain marketing

and all it entails to work yourself as an artist, on top of the fever to work continuously is a bit much on top of tearing apart your living and working space and moving it.

now.

the new studio space is probably the best i have had since i had a studio downtown... probably better.

things are coming together.

attached are some progress pictures of work i did to new piece yesterday.

2011-06-04T20:08:00.001-07:00

some more progress shots

new studio / progress pics

2011-06-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

some progress pictures of new piece. and one that maybe is finished....

and a shot of studio

2011-06-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

ok so still moving.

but have new studio set up for larger work which has worked out rather well i think.

its nice to finally have the studios set up separate. pictures shortly. still need to set up office/watercolor studio/ relaxation station.

finally had a chance to test out painting studio set up. so so very nice. will post some pics of new piece being worked on as well as studio shots probably tomorrow.

2011-06-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

ok.

a slight break from the moving fiasco is nice. but all my shit is packed up. paintings... paints... etc etc. always feel slightly lost when things are in disarray like this.

....

ah well. as vie said the new house is so much nicer in all respects. it will be worth it.

always teaching me to wait and not rush into my ideas and stuff of that sort with painting. always have a tendency to "over do " it... pretty much with everything. so this little wait period is good.

letting everything ferment.

new piece of free art added to site. this week's edition of free art is by artist trevor shaw. long time collaborator and instigator of chilling.

claim your piece of free art here.

artists interested in participating and joining free art las vegas, please contact.

also gearing up to launch a new section on site 'mellon fine art contemporary '

it will display artists of piece we own in our collection as well as artists we feel speak the same voice. if interested in being apart of this, please contact.

2011-06-01T19:14:00.000-07:00

i suppose i am used to moving.

seems i do nt settle down long any where. the last few years have been more controlled. less moving around.

i did not feel home yet.

moving right now in the middle of new projects, breaking down studio, and everything else entailed, it doesn't seem as bad, or aggravating like normal. more like your going home.

something about the new place i guess.

feel like i know it there.

its been years since ive felt actually at home. not just a book mark in time.

there have been things. and it is good this is happening now.

like a zen thing or something.

2011-05-31T10:37:00.000-07:00

pre moving clean up.

blagh

sketches 052011

2011-05-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

some ideas for larger works / mixed media paintings. one of these is a painting started on wood panel with paper mache / plaster texturing.

2011-05-30T15:48:00.000-07:00

moving. organizing work to be put into artist packets. plan marketing ideas. implement marketing ideas. mail a. packets. try and get the most of these ideas for larger paintings sketched out. get a little upset that all the paints and studio things are packed up and torn down. another week to move and be moved in.

just a little much.

but it should be good in the long run. plus gives me to time to just work on video and other computer - end aspects of current projects, organize ideas and supply lists for larger works. as well as being the business part of it as well.

on a side note,

there are some works on e bay right now up for auction.

watercolor painting with no reserve, bids starting at 19.99 and up.

2011-05-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

ugh. too much newcastle last night

2011-05-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

so frustrating when you get the call of the wild for ideas on new larger work and half your studio is broken down, paints in boxes and you will be moving for the next two weeks.

trate

ing.

ah well.

at least however the new place will be more accommodating to the larger ideas and stuff.

that

good.

working on artist mailing packets today.

something nice and pretty for galleries.

2011-05-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Credit: Flickr user eschipul
Over the last few decades many Buddhists and quite a few neuroscientists have examined Buddhism and neuroscience, with both groups reporting overlap. I’m sorry to say I have been privately dismissive. One hears this sort of thing all the time, from any religion, and I was sure in this case it would break down upon closer scrutiny. When a scientific discovery seems to support any religious teaching, you can expect members of that religion to become strict empiricists, telling themselves and the world that their belief is grounded in reality. They are always less happy to accept scientific data they feel contradicts their preconceived beliefs. No surprise here; no human likes to be wrong.

But science isn’t supposed to care about preconceived notions. Science, at least good science, tells us about the world as it is, not as some wish it to be. Sometimes what science finds is consistent with a particular religion’s wishes. But usually not.

Despite my doubts, neurology and neuroscience do not appear to profoundly contradict Buddhist thought. Neuroscience tells us the thing we take as our unified mind is an illusion, that our mind is not unified and can barely be said to “exist” at all. Our feeling of unity and control is a post-hoc confabulation and is easily fractured into separate parts. As revealed by scientific inquiry, what we call a mind (or a self, or a soul) is actually something that changes so much and is so uncertain that our pre-scientific language struggles to find meaning.

Buddhists say pretty much the same thing. They believe in an impermanent and illusory self made of shifting parts. They’ve even come up with language to address the problem between perception and belief. Their word for self is anatta, which is usually translated as ‘non self.’ One might try to refer to the self, but the word cleverly reminds one’s self that there is no such thing.

When considering a Buddhist contemplating his soul, one is immediately struck by a disconnect between religious teaching and perception. While meditating in the temple, the self is an illusion. But when the Buddhist goes shopping he feels like we all do: unified, in control, and unchanged from moment to moment. The way things feel becomes suspect. And that’s pretty close to what neurologists deal with every day, like the case of Mr. Logosh.

Mr. Logosh was 37 years old when he suffered a stroke. It was a month after knee surgery and we never found a real reason other than trivially high cholesterol and smoking. Sometimes medicine is like that: bad things happen, seemingly without sufficient reasons. In the ER I found him aphasic, able to understand perfectly but unable to get a single word out, and with no movement of the right face, arm, and leg. We gave him the only treatment available for stroke, tissue plasminogen activator, but there was no improvement. He went to the ICU unchanged. A follow up CT scan showed that the dead brain tissue had filled up with blood. As the body digested the dead brain tissue, later scans showed a large hole in the left hemisphere.

Although I despaired, I comforted myself by looking at the overlying cortex. Here the damage was minimal and many neurons still survived. Still, I mostly despaired. It is a tragedy for an 80-year-old to spend life’s remainder as an aphasic hemiplegic. The tragedy grows when a young man looks towards decades of mute immobility. But you can never tell with early brain injuries to the young. I was yoked to optimism. After all, I’d treated him.

The next day Mr. Logosh woke up and started talking. Not much at first, just ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ Then ‘water,’ ‘thanks,’ ‘sure,’ and ‘me.’ We eventually sent him to rehab, barely able to speak, still able to understand.

One year later he came back to the office with an odd request. He was applying to become a driver and needed my clearance, which was a formality. He walked with only a slight limp, his right foot a bit unsure of itself. His voice had a slight hitch, as though he were choosing his words carefully.

When we consider our language, it seems unified and indivisible. We hear a word, attach meaning to it, and use other words to reply. It’s effortless. It seems part of the same unified language sphere. How easily we are tricked! Mr. Logosh shows us that unity of language is an illusion. The seeming unity of language is really the work of different parts of the brain, which shift and change over time, and which fracture into receptive and expressive parts.

Consider how easily Buddhism accepts what happened to Mr. Logosh. Anatta is not a unified, unchanging self. It is more like a concert, constantly changing emotions, perceptions, and thoughts. Our minds are fragmented and impermanent. A change occurred in the band, so it follows that one expects a change in the music.

Both Buddhism and neuroscience converge on a similar point of view: The way it feels isn’t how it is. There is no permanent, constant soul in the background. Even our language about ourselves is to be distrusted (requiring the tortured negation of anatta). In the broadest strokes then, neuroscience and Buddhism agree.

How did Buddhism get so much right? I speak here as an outsider, but it seems to me that Buddhism started with a bit of empiricism. Perhaps the founders of Buddhism were pre-scientific, but they did use empirical data. They noted the natural world: the sun sets, the wind blows into a field, one insect eats another. There is constant change, shifting parts, and impermanence. They called this impermanence anicca, and it forms a central dogma of Buddhism.

This seems appropriate as far as the natural world is concerned. Buddhists don’t apply this notion to mathematical truths or moral certainties, but sometimes, cleverly, apply it to their own dogmas. Buddhism has had millennia to work out seeming contradictions, and it is only someone who was not indoctrinated who finds any of it strange. (Or at least any stranger than, say, believing God literally breathed a soul into the first human.)

Early on, Buddhism grasped the nature of worldly change and divided parts, and then applied it to the human mind. The key step was overcoming egocentrism and recognizing the connection between the world and humans. We are part of the natural world; its processes apply themselves equally to rocks, trees, insects, and humans. Perhaps building on its heritage, early Buddhism simply did not allow room for human exceptionalism.

I should note my refusal to accept that they simply got this much right by accident, which I find improbable. Why would accident bring them to such a counterintuitive belief? Truth from subjective religious rapture is also highly suspect. Firstly, those who enter religious raptures tend to see what they already know. Secondly, if the self is an illusion, then aren’t subjective insights from meditation illusory as well?

I don’t mean to dismiss or gloss over the areas where Buddhism and neuroscience diverge. Some Buddhist dogmas deviate from what we know about the brain. Buddhism posits an immaterial thing that survives the brain’s death and is reincarnated. After a person’s death, the consciousness reincarnates. If you buy into the idea of a constantly changing immaterial soul, this isn’t as tricky and insane as it seems to the non-indoctrinated. During life, consciousness changes as mental states replace one another, so each moment can be considered a reincarnation from the moment before. The waves lap, the sand shifts. If you’re good, they might one day lap upon a nicer beach, a higher plane of existence. If you’re not, well, someone’s waves need to supply the baseline awareness of insects, worms, and other creepy-crawlies.

The problem is that there’s no evidence for an immaterial thing that gets reincarnated after death. In fact, there’s even evidence against it. Reincarnationwould require an entity (even the vague, impermanent one called anatta) to exist independently of brain function. But brain function has been so closely tied to every mental function (every bit of consciousness, perception, emotion, everything self and non-self about you) that there appears to be no remainder. Reincarnation is not a trivial part of most forms of Buddhism. For example, the Dalai Lama’s followers chose him because they believe him to be the living reincarnation of a long line of respected teachers.

Why have the dominant Western religious traditions gotten their permanent, independent souls so wrong? Taking note of change was not limited to Buddhism. The same sort of thinking pops up in Western thought as well. The pre-Socratic Heraclitus said, “Nothing endures but change.” But that observation didn’t really go anywhere. It wasn’t adopted by monotheistic religions or held up as a central natural truth. Instead, pure Platonic ideals won out, perhaps because they seemed more divine.

Western thought is hardly monolithic or simple, but monotheistic religions made a simple misstep when they didn’t apply naturalism to themselves and their notions of their souls. Time and again, their prominent scholars and philosophers rendered the human soul exceptional and otherworldly, falsely elevating our species above and beyond nature. We see the effects today. When Judeo-Christian belief conflicts with science, it nearly always concerns science removing humans from a putative pedestal, a central place in creation. Yet science has shown us that we reside on the fringes of our galaxy, which itself doesn’t seem to hold a particularly precious location in the universe. Our species came from common ape-like ancestors, many of which in all likelihood possessed brains capable of experiencing and manifesting some of our most precious “human” sentiments and traits. Our own brains produce the thing we call a mind, which is not a soul. Human exceptionalism increasingly seems a vain fantasy. In its modest rejection of that vanity, Buddhism exhibits less error and less original sin, this one of pride.

How well will any religion apply the lessons of neuroscience to the soul? Mr. Logosh, like every person who’s brain lesion changes their mind, challenges the Western religions. An immaterial soul cannot easily account for even a stroke associated with aphasia. Will monotheistic religions change their idea of the soul to accommodate data? Will they even try? It is doubtful. The rigid human exceptionalism is cemented firmly into dogma.

Will Buddhists allow neuroscience to render their idea of reincarnation obsolete? This is akin to asking if the Dalai Lama and his followers will decide he’s only the symbolic reincarnation of past teachers. This is also doubtful, but Buddhism’s first steps at least made it possible. Unrelated to neuroscience andneurology, in 1969 the Dalai Lama said his “office was an institution created to benefit others. It is possible that it will soon have outlived its usefulness.”Impermanence and shifting parts entail constant change, so perhaps it is no surprise that he’s lately said he may choose the next office holder before his death.

Buddhism’s success was to apply the world’s impermanence to humans and their souls. The results have carried this religion from ancient antiquity into modernity, an impressive distance. With no fear of impermanent beliefs or constant change, how far will they go?

free art

2011-05-26T10:47:00.001-07:00

http://www.mellonfineart.com/free_art.html

2011-05-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

thursday thursday.

focusing on video installation. looking for galleries to submit to, freelance jobs to bid on, places to do public art, breaking down living space and studios space in preparation to move.....

such chaos.

moving always seems to sneak up on you when you finally got things settled and in their right place. especially when it comes to the studio.

eh.

considering starting an online based art collective. with similar ideals, philosophies. an effort that with several artists together we can market and promote ourselves to broader audiences.

i have so many sites im up keeping already though.

well. today does not seem productive.

2011-05-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

well. it usually works that way. you are on a roll with your projects then you get sick.

or at least i think im sick.

i don't even know.

allergies?

something.

anyway. not that big of a deal i suppose. think i need ot slow down, relax , step back into a new perspective.

mostly you get so consumed with the flow of the work your doing that it gets lost and then flustered and then turns out horrible.

then you usually scrap the whole thing and start over.

most of the time any way.

working on these projects of late has been slightly different than that of ones in the past.

things seem a bit more clear. a direction is seen and a purpose is felt.

things were always so much foggier.

slightly easier now maybe at least for the time being when things make sense.

lets hope that lasts.

what will your legacy be? if you die tomorrow or today, what will your legacy be? what do you want to accomplish in life that will echo your name when your gone?

was asked that a few weeks ago.

and i still have not been able to come up with a good response.

keeps going through my head. i know the answers... but you know. how can you answer that?

so meanwhile i avoid calling them back.

because seriously they are waiting to hear a response.

if i died tomorrow, literally tomorrow, it would be a very very short legacy that not many would even know about.

there.

kind of sad.

cest le vie.

imovie to edit film clips is really not that bad.

sure there is more control in programs like final cut and the adobe suites, but i think or the purpose i am going on here, now, it is good.

the video installation piece i am working on is encompassing all media. drawing, painting, audio, visual....everything. instead of showing paintings. it is an interactive piece. for the short attention spans out there.

take in a full series of art in 10 seconds.... come back 20 seconds later and there is something different there playing in front of you.

i think it can work.

yes. i know all of that was pretty much a mish mash of words describing it, but... yea.

well.

get on in then.

2011-05-24T09:19:00.000-07:00

ok.

think i have figured out how to show this series of paintings and incorporate the video installation at the same time.

and go.

drifting in the stream

2011-05-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

updating site.

a couple new galleries added. plus a free art page. an original watercolor will be added every week. yours free... anyone interested will only need to pay for shipping.............. here.

been working on some newer paintings, which can be found in the "division" gallery on the site.

liking the direction these pieces have taken.

has finally given a fresh insight to where larger works on canvas will go...

however, in the process of moving is kind of hindering that.

usually how it goes.. once you get your studio spaces function able, you have to move. ehhh.

well. the new shelter should prove to have a better function for larger work as well as other studio space. so this is good.

van gogh water color paints.... ive always hated artist branded paints or supplies for some reason i don't know. however, being as inexpensive as they are, the pigment and consistency of the paint is not all that bad. had a bit of a play time to work the paint to how i wanted. but all in all similar to pretty much any other paint out there.

ok.

so.

have been trying to figure out the best way to show these watercolors. how they would flow... how to even hang the damn things. and i am at a loss... back to the drawing board.

have several ideas for installations which could work into something. just need the right space to do it.

and. where. is. that.

maybe its all a joke.

2011-05-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

seventh day.

picked up some supplies yesterday. some paper, paint...pens...

got a few tubes of the van gogh liquid watercolors... well see if we like them or not. so used to working with the watercolors in the pot... let alone the van gogh brand.. never tried it.

they don took that bad though. well see.

another sheet of 300# arches... seems like blick blick is running sparse on the fancy differenty papers like they used to stock.. . was one different brand of the heavy weight paper, but... when i get accustomed to one thing its hard to break the repetition.

plus, the arches does its purpose.

expensive though.

well see how these new toys hold up. ..

and yes la noire is in my house... think ill check out of the world for a bit and see what that game is like... i couldn't resist.

think i need a break anyway.

as usual check out my site, signed prints and original pieces can be purchased here.

prints, iphone, ipod, ipad and laptop cases can be purchased here

canvas prints and archival paper prints can be purchased here

meow.

-m

2011-05-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

saturday revamp day.

the depository here has been in need of a revamp on design and new header and stuff.

also probably will be updating website with some new images and what not. well see how far i get today.

need to probably head over to dick blick. need some more paper and such. im a sucker for the hand made papers they got... only problem is sometimes they just are terrible when i comes to actually painting on them.

i think i have the ibook finished and able to be downloaded.. still testing and seeing if it actually works or not.

working fine on the ipad 2, however, not sure if there will be any difference on the 1st generation ipad, or iphone models.

so ipad2, iphone 4, check. works great.

if any one would like to receive the free catalog of new work, sign up for my mailing list to receive....

have some new video already posted up to the site, it is also on youtube, but you can check it out here.

these videos have been made using mostly only, ipad , iphone, and imovie.

happy weekending people....

2011-05-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

noone in this town has a flat bed scanner large enough to scan these last few pieces?

nice.

going to be sending out latest updates in mailing list...

with links to pages on my site where you can bid on pieces... get free art work...

free ebook downloads...

etc etc.

just have to get those last pieces scanned first... shish.

visit my site, here: site.

working on some larger canvas pieces... maybe turning out interesting...

2011-05-19T08:35:00.001-07:00

sometimes there is so much to do, i question where to even begin....

new updates to site:

new video posted.

most of the series, (the inexplicable ignition of time) has been posted.

working on finishing up and getting rid of all the bugs within ebook and PDF catalog of that series.

make sure to join the mailing list to receive the first ebook (viewable on iphone and ipad )

join here...

finally getting more work done on video loops.

need to scan last images for the inexplicable ignition series, as well as several other new pieces ive finished... too big for my scanner... and im dreading paying kinkos to scan them.

2011-05-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

ok.

hello.

excited.

rain and thunderstorm on schedule for today.

its a rare treat here.

makes the earth and life feel so much more alive when things of this sort go on... thunderstorms, windstorms, anything....

the surplus of days of clear blue skies and sunny atmosphere that seem to just stand motionless in time .... they begin to wear on you until it seems so stagnant .... with a realization that you in fact cant be anywhere but purgatory or hell...

then rain comes.

2011-05-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

windy. chilly.

work on ebook has slowed a bit. trying to pull so many projects together at once...

but certainly will be done this week.

be sure to sign up for mailing list. to any that wish to receive an ebook catalog of the new series.

also still trying to organize a fund-raiser of sorts.... there is an opportunity to show in LA and will need to muster up some funds to get there.

so.

im looking into a bidding feature for my site... name your price for a piece and winning bidder takes it.

still working out the details of this... so well see.

if theres any comments or ideas for this from any humans out there, let me know.

2011-05-16T11:34:00.001-07:00

"Because there is a law such as gravity, the Universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the Universe exists, why we exist. It is not necessary to invoke God to ... set the Universe going,"

stephen hawking

2011-05-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

another monday.

hopefully will finish up the ebook catalog of new paintings today or tomorrow.

this will be available as a free download to all those on my mailing list.

be sure to sign up for that to receive the ebook/PDF catalog.

there is a sign up form to the left here --->

or link: here.

trying to raise enough moola to get my work cross the border to LA, so lets buy some prints everyone....canvas prints, archival prints available here : :

society 6

fine art america

blue canvas

and of course, you can purchase originals as well as signed prints directly from me at

my site.

ok ok.

what

else

new,,,,

ah.

a new speed painting video will be posted here to day.

viewable here.

2011-05-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

sundays...

2011-05-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

well, a show maybe available in LA.

just need to figure out where the money will come from to get me and the art work there. :/

so..

here is where i ask for help in getting me to LA, go to my sites and purchase lots of prints and stuff!

pretty please?

you'll love my work on your walls.

promise.

it'll make ya think.

and stuff.

http://www.mellonfineart.com

http://m-mellon.artistwebsites.com

http://www.society6.com/mellon

http://www.bluecanvas.com/mellonart

...

ok so your not into that. ok.

ill be sending out a marketing email later on next week, so be sure to sign up for my mailing list....

this one will be offering special fun goodies... like a PDF and eBook (readable on iPad and iPhone ) catalog for my new series; " the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space"

so thats fun.

the first edition of th eBook will be free to all on my mailing list.... later on down the road it will feature the video from installation and sound and other stuff inside ad be available for purchase through iTunes/iBookstore.

woot.

2011-05-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

friday

tgif.

hm.

getting warm again... proving to be slightly unbearable to paint outside in the heat...

no fun.

searching for freelance work at the moment... perhaps ill start faux finishing again? mmm.

maybe.

ahhh. allergies are terrible this week. head so foggy from it... not the best week for eing productive i suppose.

meow.

2011-05-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

hello.

at times it feels there is only so much you can do with limited resources, supplies and space...

kind of frustrating.

meh.

2011-05-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

music to clear the fog

in your mind, there is so much of it. some days it gets better. others it feel you remember who you really are.

what will your legacy be? if you die tomorrow. or today. what have you left behind?

..love to warm the days. something to remember. something to cherish. just don't forget.

things seem to be in their right places.

the gate keep of the past and the future keeping you in the present.

stay in place.

don't fall

and

out of time.

2011-05-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

lazy tuesday.

another video in works of speed painting...

nearly finished with the series - the inexplicable ignition of time... - the videos re documenting the the last phases of this project.

keep posted.

have been seeing my work on a larger scale recently. installations, projects that i would love to see come into focus. . . .

in time i suppose.

right.

new images uploaded to these sites :

mellonfineart.com - video posted, minor updates to site. and links added to consume.

fine art america - canvas and fine paper prints available here.

society 6 - laptop skins, iphone cases, thirst. fun.

blue canvas- where you can nominate for me and other artists to be featured in their nationally published magazine, but as vie discovered, you must be a member of the site to nominate... boo.

and.. YouTube. - new speed painting videos and eventually the video clips for my video installation.

2011-05-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

monday. monday.

grey skies. a nice, unusual chill in the desert air. a calm before the sweltered heat of the next 6 months.

nearly time to hibernate. . . .

i have posted a new video to youtube. have decided to film and record the last few pieces for the series, (the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space - (in two phases.)),

another video implementing all the iDevices as tools and medium to create, the video features experimental sounds edited and effected by me.

there will probably be one more video of speed painting like this one, following to the completion of this series.

view this video here: http://youtu.be/fUnL1UdmNhc?hd=1

it is in HD.

non HD

check it out. like it. love it. ;)

oh yes,

and do nominate me for feature in this nationally published magazine, here -

hello present past and future.

2011-05-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

ok i gotta post this again.... keep in mind ill be posting this until im published in their magazine.

you can nominate me to be featured on bluecanvas.com.

this will lead to maybe being listed in their nationally published magazine.

go here please.

http://www.bluecanvas.com/mellonart

...

and besides that.

im working on a new video for the site....

a compilation of clips of me working on the final pieces of the mini series - the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space.

adding in elements from several devices and tools, audio, visual....

have always wanted to have some speed painting videos posted around of me working, either here in the studio or out live painting... but vie always found them kind of boring.

hopefully i can make this one .less boring?

probably not.

well see.

debating about doing a series of portraits.... do something a lil different...

i dunno. maybe. well see.

ok?

ok.

2011-05-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

nominate me

2011-05-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

you can nominate me to be featured on bluecanvas.com.

this will lead to maybe being listed in their nationally published magazine.

go here please.

http://www.bluecanvas.com/mellonart

;)

the inexplicable ignition of time exploding into free space

2011-05-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

in two phases.

phase one : http://www.flickr.com/photos/mellonart/sets/72157626529910443/

phase two will be finished and uploaded soon.

this series is apart of a larger installation idea, including video, sound and paintings.

synopsis >

encompassing the beginning to the present. conscious thought and abstract cognitions.

the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space : phase one ( nothing to something ).

a series of abstract ink painting and splatter representing the beginning of time, the universe and everything. in this ideational representation to the theories of the beginning of time. the mysteries of the universe and the solemn notion that it is possible we are apart of living cosmos and our consciousness is only a small fraction of what is true.

within phase one, the journey shows the universe beginning its dark matter. giving way to the explosion of color and life, followed in phase two.

this series is also a direct prologue to the idle explosion series as well the current new work in progress.

2011-05-05T09:13:00.001-07:00

thinking that i may need to start looking into public art opportunities for artists.

grants and such.

there has to be way to profit and make a modest living as an artist.

after reading some books during the past few weeks, i don't really ever want to go back to working for a machine.

to be a cog in the industrial wheel is long over. we need to be our own employers. we need to take care of ourselves.

so much easier in theory.

this new project i work on is coming along quite well. the video experiment for installation / projector purposes is not bad i suppose. timing needs to be right. it all depends upon the space in which it would be exhibited as well.

anxious to settle into our new home, some installation pieces are in order.... and there really is no point in constructing them here before we move...

today is just one of those days.

rethinking everything.

2011-05-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

trick or treat.

there is so much to do, too little time. so many sites and upkeep i have neglected over the last year and three quarter, that it is really kind of over whelming... mostly.

i have joined a new site i am rather happy to be apart of : society6.com. here they offer prints off all varieties of my work as well as a ton of other artists. nice community there it seems.

also.

new project i have mentioned will slowly be introduced here soon. it will be live on my site in the net few days.

looking for the best way to upload the handful of images to here at once...

the project is not complete as of yet. still working on 10 or more pieces...

busy.

2011-05-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

repetition of time. repetition of thought.

there will always be a beacon of one who has lost all perception of reality. in tune with the gods. in tune with the cosmos.

electrical impulses miscommunicate.

communicate.

the inexplicable explosion of time expanding into free space.

the first phase in which nothing becomes something.

explosions in the sky.

explosion in your mind.

consciousness expanding to some unknown territory.

encompassing the beginning to the present. conscious thought and abstract cognitions.

the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space : phase one ( nothing to something ).

within phase one, the journey shows the universe beginning its dark matter. giving way to the explosion of color and life, followed in phase two.

this series is also a direct prologue to the idle explosion series as well the current new work in progress.

this series will be posted soon....

quote

2011-05-01T12:16:00.001-07:00

"We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself."
Carl Sagan

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
Carl Sagan

Read more:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/carl_sagan.html#ixzz1L87umuFo

the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space.

2011-05-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

encompassing the beginning to the present. conscious thought and abstract cognitions. the inexplicable ignition of time expanding into free space : phase one ( nothing to something ). a series of abstract ink painting and splatter representing the beginning of time, the universe and everything. in this ideational representation to the theories of the beginning of time. the mysteries of the universe and the solemn notion that it is possible we are apart of living cosmos and our consciousness is only a small fraction of what is true. within phase one, the journey shows the universe beginning its dark matter. giving way to the explosion of color and life, followed in phase two. this series is also a direct prologue to the idle explosion series as well the current new work in progress.

new series...

phase one posted here :

http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/m-mellon.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=79741

Wave Theory and Life

2011-05-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

The essential matter from which our universe is created is energetic matter. It behaves like living matter, creating every known entity, including living objects and even thought (which occurs through energetic matter–wave interaction). The essential structure of energetic matter is high-energy (concentrated energetic matter) electro-magnetic waves (picture above). This simple structure is the basis of everything: every energetic formation and the universe. In picture 2, we see that the DNA (double helix) of all living formations has the same structure as waves: two loops of the same energetic matter, behaving according to the same rules.

* from http://www.grandunifiedtheory.org.il/book/life1.htm

series within a series

2011-04-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

love it when series turn themselves into series within themselves.

when everything finally connects.

years worth of work tying into each other.

realizing that perhaps your not insane. that yes you did have a plan after all.

yes.

atmosphere.

2011-04-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

mountain hiking today.

refreshing.

nice.

good to clear out the head in the desert. so much life there....

reboot.

an idea.

2011-04-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

after a day of fucking around with video clips with a discovered version of after effects that actually works ( for how long? i don't know...) a few hours laying on the floor and staring at nothing.... and a few hours of laying on the futon outside,

it hit.

an idea that consumed the better part of the night, and surprising enough, seems to be a fairly decent idea that has some weight.

sturdy.

what it is... .

we will have to come back to this one. at a time when it is finished... yes?

ok.

sounds good.

now. for video clips....

i don't claim to be a great video editor. nor even mildly good. in fact probably pretty damn bad.

but i have always had a weak spot for video installations.

and i want to make one....

so. there you go.

also, it is kind of the point. with these tools that are so available, and so readily offered and advertised, " to make you a great 'musician' , ' director', 'artist', or 'whatever' their target audience is the goal is to make everybody capable of creating something unique. everybody now has a chance to be an artist, musician, or director.... all thanks to these tools that have be given.

almost, in a sense, taking the uniqueness out of a thing as it becomes more mass produced.

art has long been industrialized... but it has gone a step further now, in the fact that every one now has the chance to 'be the artist'. with a few swipes, you got something neat.

don't get me wrong, i love my ipad, iphone, and all my mac shit.

the point is...

is it unique anymore if everyone can do it?

is there any room to be individual and different anymore?

very hard to be....

been there done that. blagh blagh blagh.

but so...

in any case.

that is somewhat one of the points of this new series i work on....

among others...

it is just one big shmorgus board of mixed media stuff.

need coffee.

good habits.

2011-04-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

good morning las vegas.

good morning wireless electronic land...

spent the last hour or two watching apple how to videos for osx. what is funny to me is that the video help is so retarded, if people can not figure those particular things out all on their lonesomes, why buy a mac?

well no. i can understand. used to work at apple store... way back when... and some people really are just .... well.

this week i wanted to be exceptionally productive. however, i find the more i have in my head that i want to get out and want to do, the less i actually do. then i get a panic attack. scramble to make something. then tear it up. or trash and delete it. then make something new, then throw it away. the past two days have been this way. hm.

how

ever.

i seem to be finding a balance at maintaining good habits this week.

no urges for pain killers or any of the such. even though my crooked spine hurts like hell and is keeping me up all hours... but the clarity that has returned is so much more enjoyable.

watched a documentary last week.... called.... well. don't remember the name.

it was by carl sagan.

what i found to be the most interesting is that the information they taught us solemn human beings with in the early 80's late 70's regarding time and space, galaxies, super novas and the beginning of time... the information is relatively the same today....

meaning A). we have figured it all out back then. and were set.

or much more likely,

B). our race is much more interested in spending money for fighting other humans, killing in the name of something to be regarded to make sense. the human race would much rather dump cash into sports and hollywood, .... the list can really go on here...

we have spent virtually nothing into the research of the ground breaking ideas and truths we discovered back then about the cosmos, time/space, the universe and how there is actually proof we exist within everything.... why ?

it just boggles my head.. but not really i guess.

we are destined for brutality and cruelty, no?

destruction.

of others.

even to ourselves.

so lets take comfort in the ideology of jesus christ or what other zeus you believe in, and not think about the scary idea we are just an equation in a larger pond of life.

praise the lord.(s).

-m

holonomic theory

2011-04-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

The holonomic brain theory, originated by psychologist Karl Pribram and initially developed in collaboration with physicist David Bohm, is a model for human cognition that is drastically different from conventionally accepted ideas: Pribram and Bohm posit a model of cognitive function as being guided by a matrix of neurological wave interference patterns situated temporally between holographic Gestalt perception and discrete, affective, quantum vectors derived from reward anticipation potentials.

Pribram was originally struck by the similarity of the hologram idea and Bohm's idea of the implicate order in physics, and contacted him for collaboration. In particular, the fact that information about an image point is distributed throughout the hologram, such that each piece of the hologram contains some information about the entire image, seemed suggestive to Pribram about how the brain could encode memories.[1] Pribram was encouraged in this line of speculation by the fact that DeValois and DeValois[2] had found that "the spatial frequency encoding displayed by cells of the visual cortex was best described as a Fourier transform of the input pattern."[3] This holographic idea led to the coining of the term "holonomic" to describe the idea in wider contexts than just holograms.

web site.

2011-04-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

new site uploaded.

video posted.

nearly the entire library of my work uploaded.

....

http://www.mellonfineart.com

new work. drawings. sketches,

2011-04-22T09:01:00.001-07:00

no name for series/project yet.

or maybe.

i dunno.

dead eyes

2011-04-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

dead eyes to null the world.

back to the world....

2011-04-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

hello.

guten tag.

ni hao.

back to the world i know and i am comfortable with for the time being.

so as with such,

it is time for renovation.

new site is under construction.

new art in fruition.

new projects. new stuff.

yes i've. said this before. but in all seriousness, it takes years for me to get my focus straight.

search for balance and truth,

so,

right.

right -y - o

right - on.

etc

etc.

new projects....

2010-04-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

am trying to pursue all avenues. there is a concept that i am following, a voice that leads me on to produce images in paint, ink or pen and now in recent projects i am in process of working on in sound and video installations. sonic landscapes to accompany my illustrations. this is an endeavor with fellow artist, trevor shaw, a friend and collaborator. we are working on a project called "empty stains", attempting to bring together visual art and the art of sound and performance.

also.

ive decided to start, or rather get back into making comics... cartoons to be more precise. it is what made me want to be an artist when i was younger, reading calvin and hobbes, the far side, etc, etc,. . . . .

i used to draw and write them for years, until i felt i evolved on to pursue fine art.

i feel the need now to return to that. im working on something, and soon ill have some links to its site and hopefully have them on these cartoon stip sites ive been looking at.

it is somewhat fulfilling, beginning the work on these... and hopefully something decent will turn out and come from it.

5.10

2010-03-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

hello from the abyss.

hello from the past.

been some time that ive wrote down anything. if i do it is in my sketch book. and then i remember i am lazy and do not dictate it to this machine here.

ahhhhh.... how time has gone by..... i feel old. i can feel time slipping. with no accomplishments to really say i am proud of.

grab life by the reigns, boy! seize life! yadda yadda.

have not posted new art work here for a while now. again laziness. i need a secretary. or an aprentice. somehting. too many social site to keep my work posted and fresh. and oh yes, i have to create it as well.

this is not to say i have not been painting. well i have not been. really. well slightly i suppose.

i started a new series on canvas. have several of them laying around here and then it dawned on me that there is no where to show them. so whats the point i thought.

this is the good thing with water colors and that i can get these damned images out and put em away in a folder until some unlikely soul buys one.

not that i have not been attempting to show in galleries and the like. i have. its just such..... oh i dont know.

a studio full of material. and a lack of drive. but yet full of it at the same time. quite frustrating.

thoughts jumbled and scrambled.

working on abstract sound scapes at the moment... and video material....

panic attacks.

anxiety.

pain.

my scoliosis has grown worse i believe. constant pain 24-7.

ahhhh typical sundays.

blaming everyone for the first atom to split.

2009-08-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

going so far going so long. searching for adventure. searching for life. forgetting the good things good times ashamed. afraid. maybe itll all end maybe its just an illusion. its all just a show.

wheres the remote? unknown to me but forcing it away. spit it out washing it all down the drain. for what for this? to hopelessly be looking for some good. for some life when surprise surprise its all right here. in the middle of the pie. the centerpiece to the wedding cake. march on forward when will you let us find the unlocked door? where is the place? when is the time? embrace whats now.

....

tripping over projects to do. falling out of my head and all over the floor. their all still so invisible but visible for now. cant settle on one state of mind to the next. so together. balancing and organizing the thoughts.

balance.

entries to the depository, oct08-jan09

2009-08-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

007:01:09

flood gates open. confusion gives way to clarity. things fall into place. like so many times before. it all makes sense. it all has a purpose. till when the confusion comes once again. foreign memories staining your good mood. coffee on your new white shirt.

chasing the value of pieces of paper based upon the the quantity of shiny rocks. based upon power. based upon dictation. all for our own piece of happiness. playing their game so badly. my poker face ain't so good. fighting for our own dreams. wanting it all.

everything linked together in some way down to the nanoscopic world. we are all connected. we are all disconnected.

of coming together. from the backwaters of the unknown to solid permanence of love. finding our way lost by ourselves. thrown out. finding that trail of breadcrumbs left on the trail of our mind. clearly finding the path to where we want to call home, somewhere we can both call home. our existence soldering together.

of one soul that has found its twin.

we've all been sucked into buying into the machine in some way or another. we are all in its power. there is no use in denying that. there is no use pretending that you are different. time has made it that none of that matters anymore. everyone is becoming the same. same. same same. same. same. like a bad Warhol print.

could it be the revolution of the 60's and 70's meant nothing? just fuel for the propaganda of today.

there was no revolution.

only distraction.

embrace religion as a quick fix. joining a cause to make things seem better.

everyone has their delusions

006:12:08 [ balance.]

the depression hits so suddenly. like crossing train tracks with no idea the train is right there. smashing into the side of you. days of being even . stable. happy. all becomes a foreign memory. like a memory from an old tv show. replacing it as mine. and so we wait. wait for the balance to return. fire brews and rage swells behind my eyes. confusion makes it so hard to concentrate. in the distance hands bound mouth taped shut. observing a life i am simply waiting to join. waiting to feel those warm days again. waiting for the depression to shift back to mania.

i believe there is more to this life than all we see. to what we are told whatever we may believe or are capable of believing. not sure if there is anything, really, that could be out there that can help other than ourselves. answers are within ourselves to find. conclusions can be simple once youve seen them. there are signs , images, that we see, images that possible mean nothing to anyone but ourselves. images so random but triggering answers for everything. like something was placed in front of you on purpose.

no belief in coincidence.

a hard skull and soft dry wall make a perfect combination. no shamans to guide us through the mystics. approach and find your place all your own. then in the positive light refrain. speak only the positive. even if it kills you.

hypocrite.

days of everything seeming so fake. people lookin like people seen so many times before. there all robots. there all actors. extras. the budget to this film must be getting lower. they are recylcling them. people that mean nothing. and as these people look at you do they feel the same. you are nothing to them. [rooted] these days break up into days of high energy. determination. so relieved when the clouds break.

look at these fake brick walls.

this isn't a lodge at all. a mirage in a sea of stucco.

they all hear some coded message. encrypted by nature, by life itself.

look up.

005:11:08 [ .dreams and the like. ]

Typical dream scape's - barren landscape. everything covered in a mist or like a shadow. seeing the world as if it being filmed through a soft lens. . . or my contact lenses are dirty and dry. observing myself outside myself. watching a t.v. show with me in it.

dream one (first dream worth remembering in summer of 2007 )

Watching myself, observing myself as if i was the reflection in the mirror. watching as my mouth opens and my jaw drops, my entire face contorting as my jaw hangs low. teeth falling out. more teeth than should be in a mouth. i am vomiting teeth.

wake.

dream two ( fall 2008 )

watching myself watch myself in a mirror. flipping back and forth from this perspective, to my own perspective of looking into the mirror ( not actually sure if it was a typical mirror or not ) i have jeans on, with no shirt. there is a large gauze bandage wrapped around my lower abdomen and waist. the bandage and my jeans are soaked in blood. my head and bottom part of legs are both in reflection and myself standing there faded out. main focus on bandage. in the mirror i am opening a section of the bandage to expose a large wound in my lower abdomen. it is quite large, circular, seemingly clean cut. no organs or guts can be seen in the hole. it is hollow. with slight blood dripping on the inside. with my hand that is holding the bandage, i extend my forefinger and stick it inside. the meat inside the hole is cold and really has no feeling...amazed by this, i continue to pick at it.

wake.

recurring dream(s)

searching for pain medicine. usually where i am searching there is a plethora of other drugs available just sitting around, but i am searching for only one kind. a bottle of methadone wafers. as i search i'll use the other drugs and become upset and annoyed that they do not work. there are other people i'll randomly come across (they have no faces or if they do it zooms into their eyes )and i'll watch them using and i can "feel" them getting high. some of them i can ''feel'' them overdosing. eventually i will find a bottle of what i seek buried under something or hidden in a drawer. when i find the bottle there will be only one or two wafers inside. there is always difficulties getting them out of the bottle and once i do get one out it becomes ten times it's size and renders it unusable. ill sit and watch it growing deciding if i should break smaller pieces off to swallow.

wake.

004:11:08 [ .explosion. ]

idle explosion.

neurotic station. simple plan. simple solution. simple execution.

visuals of transcendence. awakening and realizations of ones own ' shadow conscious '. a mix of dull muted colors with vivid contrasts. a series of wood panels. The afternoons repair Cantonese technology programming vehicle install english medical college filing venture professional college manage educational material Romanian external thorough.

When litigation diner bottom player secure manual mediation finance clothing secure wanted run Albanian weekends .

003:11:08 [ .idle. ]

idle explosion.

the sun has set and tonight we drift. consumed by the organic. those ties that bind will soon dissolve away. washing out the content. and in the morning we will be new again.

it's calm. it's calm. no ripples. no waves. we see our faces reflecting back at us. different every time. we must take flight into the mind rift. into the heavens. transcend into the unknown.

you will know why we are starring.

the sun sets until the morning rises. all the organic has been stripped away. peel off the layers of onion. like a night mare.

kicking and screaming. cold cold sweat. we awake into a transformed light.

a little more awake.

002:10:08 [ the devil. his girlfriend and nonsense. ]

despite absent. going with the flow of consumed and conserved energy. body mass has an amazing build up of shit. get rid of that, man. Herold 97.8.

here they congregate to worship some noise and light stimulant awaiting their reward. through the maze. weave in and out. that special machine has called their name. pheromones the right match. sit and cradle next to it's bosom calmly patiently waiting for a drop of milk from the collective tit.

001:10:08

some kind of toxic vision. some kind of disease within the mind. within the body.organic and corrupt in nature, spreading like cancer to ever cell in existence.

it's tentacles wrapping around everything in sight. grasping your consciousness, taking control.

In a nuclear fallout perhaps we will find our way. population cleansed. society rebooted. mankind's kill switch. reinstall the software. maybe we'll get it right next time around. some world we do not belong to and then there is them, feeding off the tits of vanity and despair.

a cloud like a hand print.

Don't worry.... everything will be O. K.

it is the feverish mind set of becoming consumed by an idea, that idea un spooling into visual pieces, a broken mirror of your broken thoughts. of what's really going on within you. and when it is all unraveled, before you lays your soul, your subconscious starring back and cruelly saying hello. here you finally feel a sense of relief. what seems though the most difficult part is, letting go. letting those ideas unravel. letting your subconscious take control, to allow it to send out it's x-ray emissions, burnishing it's images in the film. that feverish burn in my skull, the ideas have consumed, yet i cannot yet let go. holding all these x-rays in i fear i may explode. in a caravan of broken horse driven mirrors.

at a distance of 94.5 million miles we flutter silently to a stop wonder where it all began? i believe it was a tuesday

yes

a tuesday the sky was worn and tired closed my eyes an fell asleep you can get your microderm for free which is usually seventy five dollars

its where they remove the dead layers of skin off your face and suck....how about friday? stop pushing that knife further into my skull...lemme check one second...that was for another treatment he's out of town right now

carry our dead weight some where we can call home. there are no sails to my boat... but there is no wind, either.

the current takes us along. our lives reflected in broken horse driven mirrors. it is what stares back at you when asleep. the demon on your chest. weighing you down.

stuck in your shell, kicking and screaming, clawing your way out of the sheets.

at what point you have had enough.

delta waves.

Broken Horse Driven Mirrors. the very least of your worries. as the most monumental mole hill ever crossed. the destination of two parts. an extinguished flame trying so hard to re ignite itself.

hey man, turn the music down...it's loud enough out there already.

i've got the fear again.

is there any voice at all? is there anything to say? does any of it even matter? so afraid of the public. A question for nobody. an answer with no voice. no words. no thoughts. terrible when the mind is a blank dull gray field. full of noise. pressure. pressure pressure.

idle explosion.

Don't worry.... everything will be O. K.

have i used up all my continues?

pressure sensitive, watch out for the pigs. you haven't seen their faces yet. let some god figure all this mess out. were just here for a good time, man.

untimely testimonial from this man, his majesty, his majesty pants full of shit.

who'll leave the light on? and who's the one that declared this war in the first place?

we are searching for something i don't believe that we will truly understand the gravity of it. round and round we go with this scavenger hunt. the obvious so hard to let pass on by.

hypnotized by the nonsense.

*9258

does anyone have a true face underneath all these masks?

no belief in coincidence. when do we stop allowing ourselves to be defeated?

surrounded by warmth. matter forms with light. transformed and growing, we understand the frivolous nature of existence. we understand it is a matter of defeat to really become new. at what point do we understand it is O. K.? enclosed in the fallout shelter of this cocoon.

no drugs to erase the world anymore...it's all down to my lonesome.

no words. no language. no understanding of what goes on. we walk and walk in circles starring at each others blank faces. we see our paths tied and bound by our strings.

the puppeteer let them go. who controls us now?

we are done being the backdrop.

when we try to say something. when the meaning is so paramount to be understood, it is always lost in the translation of life. recede back into your mind. allow the tides of your thoughts bring you back. back home. let them pull you away. in a wasted effort we dog paddle, trying to get back to shore. we tread the waters until our muscles can take no more. relax. drift away. farewell.

...the warriors....

2009-08-09T09:59:00.001-07:00

so. here are three of five new pieces. had a strange urge to make some tiki/primitive warrior guys. so here they are. kind of like the sentries to the gates of this world that has been created in this watercolor series.

centurions of the mind? keeping out the bad? protecting.

something like that.

more can be seen at the site.....

the weather in hell

2009-08-04T15:38:00.000-07:00

the heat can really influence and distract. these summer months every day a race from one artificially cooled structure to the next. transportation between such in an automobile that bakes under the desert sun... no point here really, just hot as hell... and this seems to make one really lazy.

been a bit slow in producing newer pieces... but here are a few. . .

.m.

the conquest of familiar ground

2009-07-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

o.k. have finally finished the first set of artist edition cards...

to see all of them you can go to their page on my site....

been a bit preoccupied of late for other paintings... have a crazy amount of sketches ive been working on, just havent gotten to the second part. mainly thanks to my new psp. ......yeah.

heres some images of the cards...

art cards...

2009-07-07T08:57:00.001-07:00

have begun a series of ten artist edition cards....

most will be available through my site.

the circus

2009-07-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

the seduction (eight)

2009-06-26T15:14:00.001-07:00

the dosage-(lovers three)-

2009-06-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

the meeting

2009-06-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

mellonfineart[dot]com